I don’t have a father. I actually used to have him, but I didn’t know him and never wanted to know. My grandmother always said that he had broken my life. I never listen to mom, when she talks about him, especially if it’s something good. Although, he is not alive, and it’s better to say nothing, than say bad things.
I dreamed about father from the early childhood. I dreamed that he will release from prison and stand on the right path. Mother’s friend, Sasha, was always like a father for me. He was a good neighbor, and as I remember, he always took care of me. He bought me gifts, food, gave me money, when we already left our home. He would never ever pass by. When I was a kid, I thought that mom intentionally hid the truth that Sasha was my father. Actually, he had his own family. I was so jealous of his son, but tried not to show that. He died a year ago. I cried. It seemed that I lost my father. I loved him.
There was another person in my life, who played the role of father or rather a mentor, I would say. It was Father Pavel, archpriest of the Orthodox Church. When mom was drinking hard, she introduced me to him. When she was sick, I asked him for help and after she visited him all the time. If I had problems, I also went to him. He is so kind, always listens to what you’re saying and tries to advise something. However he is too strict. He was quite demanding, and in some cases I couldn’t agree with him. Once, I wanted to get a job with a financial responsibility, but he strictly forbade me. When I wanted to rent a car, Father Pavel again opposed this idea: “What kind of rent are you talking about?! You’re young. If you break it, how’re you gonna pay for it?”
Anyways I always respected him and tried to listen him out. Now he is moved to serve in the other church. I haven’t seen him for a long time.
I’m pretty sure, that if I had a father, my fate would be absolutely different. Mom’s life would be different either. Any guy must have a father. I would never let my son live far away from me. I mean, I feel good with mom, but it’s different.
Once upon a time there was misunderstanding and this misunderstanding led to conflicts, troubles and misery.
You are a good boy. And I believe, you will be a good father. Good luck!
Yeah, a hard luck, dude. I can't even imagine what i would be but for my dad... But friends sometimes are what you need most. Let people be your friends.
Your fate is different: it's different from your mother's destiny. You know from early age what is bad and what is good.
You write: "if I had a father". You do have a father. He always waits for you and loves you. Just don't forget about Him. Believe and pray. He is always near you.
You say, you life would be different if you had had a father near you. Well, that's true, but "different" can either be good or bad. Maybe, losing a father who had made your mom a drug user, was a kind of winning a new chance for you and for her? Think of it.
Well, we all have something to feel pity about. Don't focus on this. What matters is that you meet good people around. They care. They DO really care of you. Just see the best things in life, not only the worst ones!
It's good that there was Reverend Pavel whom you treated like a father. God is our common father who loves us all and cares of us all. He helps us in any situation. He sent his clergyman to look after your and give his advice. It's thanks to God you became such a good man in spite all the difficulties you had to come through. As long as you believe in God, you will never be alone: there is always your Heavenly Father who loves you and who will never betray you. Your lonely childhood was just a test that made you stronger so that you could support your mother now, when she needs your help. God bless you!
Hey, bro! What do you regret about? You had a great friend who took the place of your dad. He took care of you, you could trust him. That's great!
I was in a contrary situation, Eddie. I was perfectly happy until my father came back to the family just to take my mom away to another city. He came just to destroy my small world. I was four. Since them I coud see not only a father, but a mother too... Probably, boys do need a father, but asa a girl I would prefer to stay with my mom and with no father... I think you're a lucky guy anyway...
You know, Eddie, sometimes it's better not to have a father at all than to witness some ugly drunken face of a man who beats you and your mom every day.
Nevertheless, you had a father figure. There was a real man nearby who took care of you and was an example for you. that's why you grew up a responsible man who knows what family means.
Well written, dude. I never had dad either, but never felt bad about it or smth.. Take care of your mom!